Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I actually pay taxes

What is the recommended approach for creating a film or TV script? Should the script be written first or should the story be developed first? Why?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can count

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

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authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have complete contempt for fakery

I see through liars

Did Leonardo da Vinci paint two Mona Lisas? Where are they?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

Have anyone had an relationship of any kind with a spirit or demon, such as a succubus? If so, how was it?

I can read

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

Why don't people like Nickelback?

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

What melts your heart every time without fail?

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I have a reading level above third grade

Can you share a story of someone who had a lucky experience while hitchhiking?

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

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I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I don’t buy bullshit

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I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

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I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

What are the signs that a guy wants to marry you but is afraid of commitment or does not want to get married at all?

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I know who the president of Turkey really is

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Is it possible to achieve spiritual enlightenment while being in a romantic relationship?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have complete contempt for traitorism

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I understand how hurricane paths work

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?